This probably happens more as we age. In subtle moments, feelings of what once was—the sense
of loss or grief—appears.
It can feel like looking through a window into darkness, and memories begin to crowd in, one at
a time, and then in an avalanche: the recent death of a friend, the loss of employment, a careless
word from a loved one, an unexpected medical prognosis. It becomes not only about the recent
event, but about so many others that seem mysteriously linked. You take a breath and find
yourself asking, “Will there ever be an end to grief?”
There is no running away from it, though at times it seems worth a try. Some call it dissociation;
others take the path of emotional numbing. Reframing the question. Two paths suggest
themselves.
The first is to consider that such moments may be times of healing, or of bringing resolution to
parts of our lives that need a measure of closure. After all, the past has already taken place; it is
no longer happening. When it comes to dissociation or emotional numbing, it is wise to consult
professionals, for there may be trauma that deserves attention. Yet in the ordinary course of
life—perhaps more so as we age—the process can be gentler. It has to do with acceptance and
gratitude, and with a good dose of humor. It all leads to a sense of belonging to something larger
than oneself, and peace.
The second path is that of faith’s journey. Not unlike the journey of Lent, we invite ourselves to
look back and see where we have come from—the many moments when we have been made to
stand still, whether because of aches and pains or because of the beauty of a particular passage in
life. It is all of the same cloth, many threads woven by the maternal hands of God. And it has
made a difference—our life has made a difference. Once again, acceptance and gratitude appear,
draped in the beauty of a cosmos that is still unfinished, or better said, an unfinished symphony.
We carry the scars of grief, and they become eloquent symbols of life—powerful symbols, at
that, because they are carried by the One who has risen from the dead.
Fg